Written by: Dorotea Blažinčić
I always thought that only a great teacher or parents could raise a decent adult. But as I was growing up, I realized that I wasn’t raised only by adults. This is their story. The story about amazing little human beings who changed my perspective.
It all started a year before my high school graduation in the theatre where I had my drama classes. At the beginning of the new season, my drama teacher informed us about some changes that were going to happen. She decided that it would be a good idea to invite all the kids from the younger group to come and do a season with us, the oldest group there. Honestly, I was shocked. I mean, I was 17 back then and I thought that I was finally ready to do a serious play. What did I get? A group full of kids who were constantly noisy and couldn’t focus on the script. However, I decided to give it a try… but only for a month and see how it will go. I still vividly remember my first time with them because I had to sit between two boys and keep an eye on them because they were always messing around. I didn’t enjoy it. Nevertheless, the month passed by quickly and I still wasn’t sure whether I should continue going to drama classes, so I decided to stay for one more month.
Then, December came. In our theatre, December is always the busiest month – that month we play for two weeks, two plays a day, which can be exhausting because we don’t play them in our theatre. That means we also need to travel. That December changed me. We spent a lot of time together and I didn’t even realize, but I started looking forward to each day that I got to spend with the kids in my group.
I can’t pinpoint the exact moment these little ones came into my heart. Perhaps it was that rainy evening when I was waiting for my turn to go on stage. I spread out a thousand papers in front of me in order to prepare for the exam when Roko entered the dressing room carrying biscuits and tea from the vending machine.
Maybe, I fell in love with them the day we first stood together on that stage. They weren’t so little, but I felt so grown up at the time, and they seemed so small to me. Only under the spotlight were they big, nearly grown-up. Responsible for each of their actions at least as long as the magic of the show lasts. We were everything. We were smurfs, we were mice and cats, we were ghosts and aliens, we were big and small…and we were family.
Somehow, between rehearsal and scripts, jokes and fights, travels and rides I realized that I must stay with them, no, I would love to stay with them. And… I did. We ended a great season together.
Time passed quickly and we started another season together. However, that season was different for me and I had to give up going to drama classes. I had family problems, but I also had to study for the final exams. When I said I was quitting, nobody believed me until I stopped showing up. That decision was very hard for me, but I knew I made the right choice.
Then, one day in March, I received a phone call from my drama teacher who asked me if I could come to the theatre. I immediately agreed because I thought she needed my help and I missed my kids from the group. So, I came. As I was entering the theater, I had a strange feeling because it was unusually quiet and nobody was running around like they usually do. I got extremely nervous because I thought I was late, which I hate, so I rushed to the stage. Suddenly, music started playing and I heard someone singing a song. All of a sudden, I saw them. All twenty of them stood on stage with a birthday cake. Then it hit me. They are singing to me. They remembered my 18 th birthday.
After we ate the cake, I asked them if we could do our play one more time. We bowed together last time… or so I thought. They convinced me to do another play with them. The play’s premiere was supposed to be held in the middle of my matura exams, but I didn’t care. After every exam I took I went to the theatre because I knew that my kids were waiting for me.
The premiere went great, and a few months after I enrolled at the college and moved away. I left them, my boys, my girls, my troublemakers, my drama queens, my drama kings… my family.
I didn’t come to the theater until their new premiere. I sat in the first row, which I never do, and I watched them. When I saw them standing on that stage, my eyes filled with tears. Those are my people, my kids, my family. I was indescribably proud.
After the play, I went into the dressing room. They all rushed to meet me, we hugged, and I started crying because I realized how fast they have changed. Faintly, I heard Roko asking Matko which shaving foam was the best, while Lana and Ena chuckled gently in the corner about some new boy who had come into the class next to theirs. Life happened, with or without me.
Five years ago, when someone asked me what I wanted to become, I would have said – an actress. That was before them. Now, I know what I want to be, who I am meant to be. I want to be someone who holds their hand when they are scared. Someone whom they can trust, someone who can play with them, someone who will learn something from them and with them. Even someone who will always sit in the front row with eyes full of tears.
Because of you, I know my place in this world, and for that, I am extremely grateful. I will always have your back… because you had mine.