By Dorotea Blažinić, 5th year of the Faculty of Education in Osijek, module C
When I was a kid, I kept a diary. It was kind of a game for me, and I never took writing
seriously. During one school year, I was writing about anything and everything. I wanted to be a teacher, a lawyer, or an actress. Then I grew up and tried to be a teacher.
Fifteen years later, the second diary was created. My diary as a (future) teacher. So, dear
diary…let’s begin.
Dear diary,
here I am, once again. I’m a little late, I know. A lot has happened over the past few years. One of the biggest news is that I’m becoming a teacher. Just like I wanted when I was younger. I became a teacher a few months ago. Informally, without a degree, but with all my heart and all the knowledge I have gained. I work in two kindergartens. I have four groups of children, a total of 45 of them, my first students. Together, we practice our English while we play, dance, laugh, occasionally weep, fight, and argue. Even though I’ve been doing this job for a while, and it’s a great one, there are still many things I know now that I didn’t know before. I was aware of these issues in theory; I just didn’t anticipate running into them so soon. So, the following is a list of everything I wish I had known earlier:
Not every lesson is going to be perfect.
On some days, I would arrive at work fully prepared with a variety of materials, including cards, cartoons, brand-new games, songs, and dances. I had hoped it would be the perfect lesson, but it just didn’t happen. And it’s nobody’s fault. Sometimes things just turn out that way.
Textbooks are not sacred.
I hid behind textbooks and pre-written lesson plans for the first month of my teaching career. To know what to say when and how to engage my students in an activity, I memorized lesson plans by heart. One day I simply forgot my book at home. I had to improvise the whole lesson. At the end of the lesson, my students hugged me for the first time.
“Teacher, this was the best day ever!”
Of course, I still use the textbook and follow the topics it covers, but I do a lot of things myself. I invent games and songs and gather ideas from the Internet (especially TikTok where there are amazing teachers with great activities and ideas). I am slowly getting to know my students and their interests, so I adapt my activities to that, as well. I’ve stopped hiding.
Don’t allow parents to intimidate you.
After I finished my very first lesson and was ready to leave, a group of five mothers stopped me and began yelling at me. The fact that all the kids were in the same group did not satisfy them, and the classroom where the classes were held was too tiny for them. They also had issues with the program. I tried to clarify that I had nothing to do with the issues mentioned, that all I was here to do was provide lessons, and that they should direct their concerns to the program supervisors. I sobbed the entire way home and felt like I had to give up since this was not the career for me. I was miserable. I didn’t want to give up, though, at the first obstacle. I carried out my duties as efficiently as I could, and I never ran across that group again.
Your salary belongs to you, not to your job.
When I received my first paycheck, I was overjoyed. Though I wanted to go out and buy a new coat, I decided that my pupils required certain supplies that would make my next lectures simpler. I went shopping and purchased crayons, stickers, erasers, and pencils. Nobody expressed gratitude. So, I stopped.
Recently, we were talking about the weather, and the textbook’s assignment called for the kids to color the sun yellow. The problem is that in my group there are eleven students, but I only have one yellow crayon. Of course, we didn’t do that together. I changed the whole activity because of the lack of materials, and the coloring task became the homework task.
Sadly, the classrooms are so unequipped – sometimes I have more students in the classroom than chairs. Despite my best efforts, I am just unable to meet all their needs. Because of this, I focus my lessons on games, dancing, and acting – activities that don’t need a lot of additional resources that I don’t own. I may be selfish, but my salary is mine, not my employer’s salary.
Flashcards are priceless!
To be entirely honest, I used to find flashcards to be really dull when I was a student. Now that I have this experience, I can say that I give them maximum attention while creating activities. With them, I am able to achieve anything! From the most basic exercises, such as just naming words (which was the only time my teachers used flashcards; perhaps this is why I didn’t enjoy them), to a variety of activities, like memory exercises, acting out the words, passing the cards around a ring, the yes/no game, and others. Croatian “kartice pričalice” served as the inspiration for the game that has recently proven to be the most fascinating for us. We play in a way that each kid draws a card while seated in a circle. They come up with a sentence using that word after correctly naming it in English. Although I usually translate the sentences into English, the majority of the sentences are delivered in Croatian. The following student picks the card again, names the word, and uses it in a sentence that relies on the one from the previous student. The students really enjoy this activity since most of the stories we tell don’t make any sense, which makes them entertaining and humorous. This activity allows me as a teacher the chance to assess how well the students have mastered the vocabulary while simultaneously providing me with the chance to further develop the vocabulary via the telling of the story.
Recently, a group of my students used this game to create a hilarious story that goes something like this:
Be yourself!
My students seem to be very curious about me and pay close attention to even the smallest changes I make. As an example, I wore a ring to class a few days ago. The students asked me for the name of my husband after the class. I chuckled and asked them why they believed I was married. You have a ring, they said in response. I told them I don’t have a husband and that the ring belonged to my grandmother. Then they asked me: “How can you be a teacher if you don’t have a husband?”.
I decided to take advantage of their attention and told them the story about my winter holidays. I shared with them my experiences playing board games, decorating the tree, and baking cakes with my mother. When I told them the story of me running with my three-year-old godson, falling, hurting my knee, and ending up in a hospital, they were extremely intrigued. I chose words they were familiar with and demonstrated unfamiliar vocabulary (especially the part with racing and falling).
Even after I told them the story over a month ago, they continue to ask me about my knee in every lesson. They remembered this story the best out of all the ones I told them or had them read from the textbook because it was an experience that had happened to them, it was something personal and interesting to them, and it was also very humorous because it had actually happened to their teacher.
I believe it’s acceptable to occasionally reveal your own life to students and share personal
experiences. We, therefore, encourage them to speak as well, although mostly in Croatian, and I am pleased with their efforts to include as many English words as they can.
You are much more than just a teacher.
The first time they told me they loved me, I didn’t know what to say. I was also confused when they hugged me for the first time. Over time, I understood what it means to be their teacher. The teacher is the one who dances with them, sings, makes funny noises, comforts them when they are sad, scolds them when they are obedient, praises their progress, hugs them when something hurts, and talks when something bothers them. Every day when I open the door, I know that many emotions and love await me. Now I know what to say when they tell me they love me and I already have a box full of their drawings, drawings “for teacher” or “for tičr”.
A teacher is everything and much more than that.
Prepare to have your heart broken.
As wonderful as this job is, there are days when your heart breaks. When you notice that one of your students is sad and later confides in you that their dad no longer lives with them or that their mom is very heartbroken. Such situations leave me speechless. I mostly thank the student for having the confidence to tell me what’s bothering him, and I try to convince him that everything will be fine and that I’m always there if he needs my help.
My heart will likely break the hardest, though, the day my students leave me. Even if there is still a long way to go before that day, I often think about it. We have been so close over the past months that hardly a single day goes by that I don’t mention “those kids of mine.” They were my first after all, therefore they will always have a special place in my heart. We learned together, and I am really appreciative of all the affection they show me. They have no clue how much of an impact they have had on my life or how proud I am whenever they make a simple gesture or express a few words (or sentences) in English.
Dear diary,
this is only the beginning. I’m appreciative of the chance I get to develop my skills with my
amazing pupils. If not for the lectures, my professors, my mentors, and practice, all of this would have been more challenging. Everything I learned was and still is really beneficial to me. Some days are tougher than others, but I am certain of one thing: I chose the right path.